Dear Love,
It was a beautiful night with us by the sea, the cool breeze and the salty spray wafting over us. It should've felt like heaven and I couldn't have asked for more. Yet, I felt my heart being ripped out of my chest in the midst of all that's beautiful.
Why? Because we broke up..
It was all I could do to keep a brave front, while inside I could feel everything falling apart bit by bit. I smiled with my lips and even my eyes, but my heart teared up and wept uncontrollably flailing within its cage. I kept assuring you that it's really okay, when in fact it was anything and everything but that. I did it for you, even though I didn't need to, because I'd rather take the pain myself than add to your load.
I remember telling you sometime before that if we ever split, I would never get back with you again. As much as it pains me to have said it, and even more so to follow it, I am going to stick by what I said even though every fiber of my being is pleading me to retract.
Do you know that sometimes I want to hate you? I mean I have never 'wanted' to hate anyone before, and I cant get myself to do it. I've never been like this and I hate what I am feeling. I would abuse you for having me feel like this, but again I just can't because of the times that you made feel like the luckiest person to be on this planet.
As I pour out the contents of my gushing punctured heart, I know you will never read this. Which brings to question as to why am I even bothering myself to write this in the first place. Well, your guess is just as good as mine, maybe better.
I still haven't conciliated myself with the prospect of not having you as my own, and I'm already mercilessly bombarded with visions of you with someone else. Frankly, I'd rather blind myself before I witness that happen. I know I will not be able to handle it, because I don't think I can ever feel differently about you.
One thing is for sure - I will not be able to handle it. The day I see that happen, I will simply, slowly and quietly disappear from your life. Till then, I will hope to soak every bit of you while I still can.
Love,
A.
It was a beautiful night with us by the sea, the cool breeze and the salty spray wafting over us. It should've felt like heaven and I couldn't have asked for more. Yet, I felt my heart being ripped out of my chest in the midst of all that's beautiful.
Why? Because we broke up..
It was all I could do to keep a brave front, while inside I could feel everything falling apart bit by bit. I smiled with my lips and even my eyes, but my heart teared up and wept uncontrollably flailing within its cage. I kept assuring you that it's really okay, when in fact it was anything and everything but that. I did it for you, even though I didn't need to, because I'd rather take the pain myself than add to your load.
I remember telling you sometime before that if we ever split, I would never get back with you again. As much as it pains me to have said it, and even more so to follow it, I am going to stick by what I said even though every fiber of my being is pleading me to retract.
Do you know that sometimes I want to hate you? I mean I have never 'wanted' to hate anyone before, and I cant get myself to do it. I've never been like this and I hate what I am feeling. I would abuse you for having me feel like this, but again I just can't because of the times that you made feel like the luckiest person to be on this planet.
As I pour out the contents of my gushing punctured heart, I know you will never read this. Which brings to question as to why am I even bothering myself to write this in the first place. Well, your guess is just as good as mine, maybe better.
I still haven't conciliated myself with the prospect of not having you as my own, and I'm already mercilessly bombarded with visions of you with someone else. Frankly, I'd rather blind myself before I witness that happen. I know I will not be able to handle it, because I don't think I can ever feel differently about you.
One thing is for sure - I will not be able to handle it. The day I see that happen, I will simply, slowly and quietly disappear from your life. Till then, I will hope to soak every bit of you while I still can.
Love,
A.